There will be times when I can't be okay. But the strength in my heart is so grand, I am able to continue and there is growth, though at times so slow, I feel it in me. I am not so much happy, but the happy that erupts is magnetic & fleeting & available through the thick of sad. I just want honest strength in all of the matter mosts & sympathy to a point & empathy total. I just want someone to laugh when I say, "I made a $1,000 worth of catering in a few hours and didn't have enough time to put a tampon in." And to say, perhaps, "Girl, you're going to get a sweet prize from this mess one day." And even if it were never true, I'd be happy someone thought it was possible, because Lord knows I'll continue to do everything I think I have to.