Time Capsule

I found field notes circa 2005 detailing memorable happenings in Portland, OR as a Freshman in college attending Concordia University:

1. I hid in a tree silently at night, friend comes out, the look on his face
2. Elongating vowel 'ay' attaches to each word & name - sillay
3. Kaylee Kelsoe
4. When Kali said she shaved her butt with Kaylee's razor & we all found out it was mine
5. Jessica Lei Scibelli
6. When the mouse that was originally piranha food committed suicide
7. Trip to Seaside, dead jellyfish, large lollipops, salty hair
8. Ashlee Simpson concert, Jessica cries
9. Seeing that dark featured male the first day
10. Fights with Randy Dalzell, head coach
11. VooDoo donut night with the boys of Neil's Hall
12. Listening to Matt sing Jack and Damien, beautiful
13. Hamlet the secret, hidden hamster
14. Party @ Brynn's, Grever checks out his own ass
15. "Blondies" & "Nunnies" in reference to pubes
16. I am the cafeteria server with chef hat & checkered pants, salad bar from hell
17. Fines for holding bedroom doors ajar past curfew
18. Grampa dance to Laffy Taffy
19. M & J come out, making distance relationships work
20. Dress up night: winter wonderland makeup class on our faces
21. Kara, Caleb & Tron come visit, help me buy secret hamster
22. Not talking to Kaylee for 3 days & neither of us knows why
23. Hair model fashion show
24. Gauging ears, apparently, because of Ty
25. Seeing Ty first day of cross country & knowing we'd be best friends
26. Crazy ceramics teacher & her dog
27. L-Word Obsessed
28. First trip to the Saturday Market
29. Spray tans for $27
30. Kaylee tries to catch the campus cat [Jasper]
31. Movie nights of Donnie Darko, Kids, Hustle & Flow
32. The time I thought someone got their period on my fish pillow, realizing that it was my bloody gauging
33. Jack-in-the-box lady: "Jesus me, too much work to be a lesbian! Just be a gymnast & do it yo self!"
34. Cop pulls us over for 'illegal tinting' & says: "Concordia is no college, PSU, now PSU that's a college."
35. Preacher's daughter masturbates with her roommate in the room, Jess texts us to save her
36. Jess couldn't poo for 2 months
37. Tyson tells me, while getting a tattoo, he told the artist: "See those two girls out there? Well, they're standing next to one another, one is my girlfriend, the other my best friend, and I'm in love with both of them."
38. Conversation with Cara: "I can smell your dog smell." "What? Not me. I didn't put any dog stuff on..."
39. Lecture fragments from the human sexuality teacher: "You could probably decorate your diaphragm with diamonds!" "...slapped by your stiffy." "Let's put our heads together."