aug. 2 - 26 times a woman

I crawled into bed with her in the morning. She was wearing a locket with a photo of my brother and I as babes. She said it felt like it was her day to celebrate, remembering. She began to cry. The morning was gray & the first rain saved itself for that day. I savored in just being. Still. I headed into town for a tattoo. I bumped into friends, who walked me through the wet day with intentions of finding me a ring. No success, but I felt someone's dreads, chose a chocolate bar from the candy man & watched someone get pierced by a softly spoken red headed elfish person. Went to the restaurant by the bay for jalapeno & cilantro margaritas and fish tacos, then for creme brulee & shots of tequila. The bartender suggested that perhaps those who take photos of their food generally appreciate the food they are given more than those who do not, or that perhaps the types of people who take photos of their meals are just generally more thankful for life. There's bouquets of peach roses, white roses and yellow sun flowers that perfume my room. Everyone is on vacation, river rafting with their lover or sick, and I'm the only one left. They say tell everyone it's your birthday & you'll get tipped well. I don't care. My friends & family come in & I serve them glass after glass of bubbly & snacks to celebrate me. The owner sends me off close to midnight, close to the end of celebration. My friend gets more drunk than I have ever seen him, tells me it would hurt no matter what I receive; sits on the wet pavement to get to know the drunks, asks them questions about Life, and Who Are You, Really? I'm leaning against the pole, listening to a drunk cry about how beautiful & sad it is that his daughter is pregnant. He needs to show her how much he loves her because Life is Beautiful. I get compliments on the white of my dress & a Sarah Jessica Parker cat call, get in my car & come home to find: Period Barbie, a creation developed by my mother for my birthday, fully equipped with new organs, blood running down her leg, a machine gun, Johnny Depp slave bf, blades, endless chocolate, endless salt, extra tp. I fall asleep smiling, because it's all really funny. The therapist would say, stop taking care of everyone else & focus on you. Ah it's a balance dude - I chose to work. I chose to not be bothered by my friends & family getting to celebrate for me. I chose to take care of the drunk with the philosophies, and I chose to fall asleep smiling.