a life abundant

Before, I was always quick to count my misfortunes, add them up like it was someone else's fault. The other day I felt transplanted back to older emotions and though it bothered me, through it I could see where I've grown. In noticing, I realized how much I have to be thankful for. Whatever I've got going on here, I'm entirely grateful. I want to rush the feeling of home, but I'll mantra, ease, be in this moment, be present. You know when you're happy with yourself, everything feels possible.

I've been prepping for the Scotia Bank 1/2 marathon by eating a lot of chocolate chip dunkers dipped in chocolate frosting, cupcakes, coffee, wine, beer, and cheese. There was a good period of no-cheese-eating there when I was nearing the end of my stay with my roommates, and they had stopped buying cheese, so I had stopped eating it, and then, now, with this new place, I want comfort food until the place feels like home, so I've got like seven different types of cheese in the cold bin. I realized I might want to keep myself in check when my pants were too tight this morning. But maybe the dryer did it, maybe it's not the sugarcheese. Oh, another smart thing I did was 3.5 workouts last week. I might feel that on Sunday. Now, Amber, before you get mad, know that I am mad at you first, for training hardcore for S2S, so you can't also be mad. In truth, I enjoy going into this lighthearted and bloated. We'll see if I feel the same way after.

I was lolling in my bed last night, after salmon chowder and brews with my father. I rented Dallas Buyers Club. At one point I thought, Oh, something sad better not happen I feel like I could cry. And something sad happened and I cried, but I think it was just because I needed to, and not because I was pulled by Jared Leto. I lolled with the screen door open until a 4am sky fell rain.