Sum

I'm trying to really feel the breadth of summer. Ask myself, am I enjoying it, am I living in it? I mean, we shared an IPA in jars, discussing friendships and parents on the floor of my apartment. The communal emotion was dissatisfaction, whether blatant or obscure. I mean, we had margaritas on the balcony as the sun fell, apologizing for time-out texting, still of the culture to understand Company, Attentiveness, but maybe not enough to comply. I mean, I got to sit beneath the trees and watch W & C commit to one another in a time when I feel like everyone is departing or detaching or proclaiming complicated mixed emotions about the many strands of human connection and how one is never enough & the grass is always there to think about. I mean, I photographed a bride to be, before missing her wedding, before missing her husband lose to her in a kegstand battle, his face planting into the curve of the keg, stitches garnered on his wedding night. I mean, I've been eating great & a lot. I mean a lot. I am the hoverer at the rosé wine tasting, over the plates of apricot cheese, apple chicken sausage, almond cookies, grapes and blueberries. I mean, we had a fondue party, made with delicious french cheeses, sliced squares of french bread, green apple, salami, olives, steamed asparagus and cauliflower, finishing with sauv. blanc. I mean, I ran Ragnar which made me feel alive and strong and sleepless. I mean, I've started the Chicago training plan alongside two buds which means new beginnings and a goal and a hunger. I mean, I'm employed. I mean, I'm reading.


So what goes missing when you say "summer" and I think "where?" Not where like where has it gone, but where is the feeling? One hot day a week back I jumped in the water. Not because the sun was warm, the water was, or that there was a dock, none of these individually mattered. But the sensation of feeling too warm transitioning into a sudden sultry dip into the depths - that change was summer. Like a cleanse, you only happened upon and were lucky to.