Loom

"If it no go so, it go near so."
Jamaican proverb

Looming like a breakup, this date I've curled between my fingers like yarn, prepping the project, the scarf of runs, the fringe left undone. The fringe: the texture, the icing to a project that takes forever, that otherwise goes repetitive, lays flat. But now: Spring & that magical year and a half where the time isn't dictated & no one can qualify. This delicious year & half where you can stop taking risks out of passion aimed with perhaps, corroded direction.

We were running in the nuts, 3k in elevation gain and melancholy over Hall & all the people we were rooting for to race OT's, who can't. It is melancholy when you try to sift through ends, pieces to other peoples puzzles, but how exciting it is that all of this striving for can go soft, so you can get hard elsewhere. Like, breakup, you're suddenly left to your own devices, if you look at it like that. And who are we after our breakups? Usually, much more identified, with more capacity, more endurance, more belief in us, once you get past the hurt. You're frightened, because what you want is much more than you had, and now you're in the very place to work for it. 

I think the sexiest thing is cleaning. To walk into a garage to find someone cleaning, and all of a sudden I'm this thriving, poorly-postured, home-revitalizer, washing dishes, wiping counters, organizing tupperware, baking almond bread, brewing coffee. To view cleaning being done is like foot fetish-special and natural coke energy. I mean, I don't know why, I just feel this. 

I'm filling time post CIM honoring the path, making choices based on a longer future over a nearsighted one, cleaning, as before-mentioned, getting really heated over the floating ninnies at the aquatic center, getting heaters rollin' on good wine or cracked cans of Kulshan at the arcade with a 12-year-old simulated, sweaty-palmed, heart-rate-racing kind of angst over Pacman. This weekend LB, Mck and some other weirdos are going to Spokompton for the Lampi's baby shower; I've spent the week fashioning a wardrobe for what's turning out to be a Viking, Sport-Chic, future Tequila-loving baby.