Change

Pleasure in small small. Dipped dates in crunchy salted peanut butter. The cat. Seeing a card I made displayed at a dear friend's home. Standing, spread-legged so as not to be on top of the nibbled crust of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich rind, left sadly on the slick and sorrowful rocks in whatcom falls, staring at it with curiosity & intrigue like suddenly seeing an old friend, then, also diverting sleepy slugs on dawn runs, inverted ankles and compromise of foot health, just to let them have that morning, also, thinking about wine under the shower head, and then, his hand extended past curtain with the idealized glass, and, too, kneeling down in the shower in child's pose, feeling that good stretch and watered.

But then a burning angst, the ever evolving and always. Stuck in months of the step before the full length leap. Every ache a question. Concerned with people, with memories. Acknowledging the weight of the injuries and the crazy that accompanies, that keeps you just cusping, and never back to full health. Planning. God it's the year of plans. Which is itchy because I want organic, fluid, fall-into's. I think all this angst is better relieved with a glass of earth & spice wine, a good meal, fast internet, and a few women who are on the same page, operating with the same sort of fervor.

With stride this has become the year for growth. Of course, always, but this one is hefty & multi-dimensional. Ok, yes too, always. Responsibilities grow, boundaries are pushed, bruising small important bones, booking flights everywhere, researching other people's homes, and just overcome to have the chance to eat that good fondue off Pearl, meet a baby, hug a small, wise, mother-woman, kiss my Mads J, wear lederhosen, and see the world from three pairs of eyes. On an aside, I am immensely infatuated with Casey Neistat. And his familial entourage; quite the catalyst for the inspiration that aches in me to grow. I seek to live a life that seems that good to the self. Of the self's own standards. Of course, everything has the potential to be cooler with an edit, but, whatever pushes you to change man.