Running Log #7

The cross country season has come to an end. We celebrated its conclusion with a run in the Nuts this morning; the beginning of our mileage uptick. Now I'm in Boston mode, or that pre-Boston mode, where you build & try not to jump the gun in training intensity. In the past it was easy for me to slack off post season, take the appropriately-acknowledged 2 weeks off, which would turn into months of half-assed training, where I'd be anxious about what I may have lost since the season's end. In the Nuts I went through the full spectrum of emotions: strong, annoyed, gape-mouthed, tired, praising downhill, thankful. Then the snow began to fall lightly between the trees & the views were cancelled by the thick of the clouds, which aroused a sort of ethereal subtle winter reverie, our eyes extremely wet, trying to blink the roots into clarity. We were being led by this incredible couple, of much strength & kindness. There was a point I stopped to tie my shoe, and was alone for a bit. The silence was heavy. I felt like this run, this team, this me was different. I'm excited I'm in a place where I can stave off that post-season break & continue training through. I don't feel overworked (this is different from tired), I just feel ready to keep up.

After the run I took a hot shower, the arches of both feet cramping, with a gynormous mug of chai & a bowl of fruit & yogurt. Napped, viewed an apartment in a historic building, which had charm, a clawfoot bathtub, a new york style kitchen, a cool maze of secret passageways, a closet with french doors, and was a block from both jobs & therapy - but it wasn't "the one." It was like "56% the one," in the way that I could have gone for it, but I didn't feel like fighting, though I laid the groundwork to fight. It feels good to be so relaxed about moving, when in years past there was such urgency. In daydream land, I'd very much love to be laying the groundwork to fight for the house I want to build in, remodel, paint, buy long-time simple furniture with a lover, or the self, or to move into a house of sponsored runners, all aiming for big goals, all emotional, exhausted, literally hungry, and most definitely neurotic, full of the most complex but easily understood neurosis. A Lover's house or a Team House, I'd take either. These of course, are existent in dreamland for a reason. I just developed one more: L, move back from Seattle to me - you know you want to - we can train till we can make a living, be on the same team again - besides I'm getting chummy with the Brooks glove designers over here & they're really cool. Segway - I have just received a small sponsorship from Brooks, through their ID program. DeKoker over there has definitely extended a branch of faith due to my history with wwu's program; and I see it as a platform upon which to move forward competitively. I won't lose my beer-drinking, wine-guzzling, bread & cheese devouring hussy ways, but I want to fight. This is all about pride - I want to be proud & make others proud to work with me. I want better opportunities, more support. So, I'm excited to have this opportunity, to get gear, to stay motivated, and to work on blogs that are connected to Brooks.